Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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