white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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