Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Randomize
