try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
