i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
