dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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