The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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