google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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