if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize