hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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