awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize