id be glad to
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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