Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
