You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
