I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
