I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize