BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
being pregnant is like rehab
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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