Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
