Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
