Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
