I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
