My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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