I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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