I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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