Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
