I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you would pick up someone in the library
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
