No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
