Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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