whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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