I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
