Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
