i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
