Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
