It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
