like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize