; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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