I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
