Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
