Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
