so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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