how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
