My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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