haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
How external is "for external use only"?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
