Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
