your room smells of hookers.
And success
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
