people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I wish i was in the wii world.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
