when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize