Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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