you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
