One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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