Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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