Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
