I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
