no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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