You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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