He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she smelled like a LAN party
Reggie can tackle my bush.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
