I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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