I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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