Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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