i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
