Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
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