She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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