Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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