he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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