why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
