Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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